Confusion seems to be a big part of the grief journey. It is difficult to concentrate on anything but the loss. The same thoughts run over and over in our minds until we think we might go crazy. We can hardly stay in the present moment because our minds keep bringing us back to the events around the dying, funeral or other incidents involving the death. Memories run through our minds constantly like a raging river over which we have no control. We often do not feel oneness with our family or friends but instead seem to experience a world apart from others…one we find difficulty describing even to family.
Yet, in the midst of this chaotic state we can use our breath as an anchor for stabilization. We can also journal out our confused thoughts…just the act of writing them down on paper helps to ground them out of the body so they are no longer internalized. Finding a safe person… friend, counselor, pastor, rabbi, to share our confusion with also helps us normalize the confusion.